!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> pegasus horse cake.: of septic relationships: sometimes amputation is best.

1.5.06

of septic relationships: sometimes amputation is best.

i was surprised at the detection of a smile that had ventured onto my lips when i took my keys out to open the front door. on my way back home, i had undone my ponytail, my pace had picked up from lethargic foot-dragging to energetic strides.
i had been left with an inmense empty space in my mind, all the worry and doubts and frustration had been flushed away. i wondered what to do with it. i was reassured.
with a look in the mirror in the entrance, i checked it was really me and not someone else. i felt out of synch with the mascara smudges. i promptly cleaned them.
there is closure. there is release.

but if i am so relieved, why do i curl up and hurt so bad?

(now i'm angry. now i'm sad. now i'm laughing. now i'm crying.)

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