human nature will find work for idle hands to do
much to my disgrace i have bridget jones moments. the definition of the former group of words being that a string of little catastrophies happen leading to a resolution where all these roll up into a big ball when the bigger picture is discerned.
for instance, on my way to the theory exam.
i was dropped off in a deserted industrial area, specifically next to a huge peeling billboard that had the preposterous intention of being an accurate map. so i set off to find someone to ask where the building i was looking for was. the first person i saw was a trucker leaning on his (predictable) truck, who made a kissy noise when i walked past. i stopped in my tracks and headed right towards him.
'perdone, ¿sabe dónde está en centro de examinaciones de tráfico?'
'eso está en el centro.'
'no' i said 'ésa es la dirección general de tráfico. digo el centro de examinaciones.'
'ah, no sé. pregunta en la carnicería'
oh, oh, the meatwatcher sends me to a butcher's.
so the butcher gave me directions and i thanked him wondering why he had his tiny shop in such an abandoned place, its sole existence in that area was surreal.
i walked uneasily down this dry half-hearted pavement, not deciding if it was paved or not, sort of in-between, invaded by tree branches, covered in plastic bags, drink bottles and one dirty condom.
the lack of noise was eerie.
i walked past a hooker dabbing on some make-up on an old armchair, some man snoozing on grass, two lost-looking tourists, and a lot of storage empty buildings with huge gates. twenty minutes later, my legs and the rim of my skirt were covered in dirt. fantastic.
i turned the corner and forth came the attack of the furious sprinklers.
they were set throughout the whole length of the pavement, all rotating at different speeds, and i sort of ran/jumped though, ambushed. and of course, i was soaking wet by the time i escaped. so much for my dexterous sonic-the-hedgehogesque heroic moment. stage one, act two completed. zero rings. zero emeralds. zero time points.
but at least my skirt and legs were clean now.
my reward was that afterwards i asked the most delectable trucker boy i've ever seen where the goddam exam building was. dripping water. yes.
thirty-five minutes after the beginning of the miniscule odyssey, i got to my destination. out of boredom i started to look around while i was waiting.
i saw a train station.
just across the road.
the trains ran from málaga and back.