!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> pegasus horse cake.: wouldn't it be good

19.4.05

wouldn't it be good

this looking back at things has embossed how much my priorities have changed throughout these years. especially these last two years.
acne and boys, which were competing numbers one and two in the list, have plummeted right to the bottom, squashed by newly dumped numerous concerns from the circumstantial sack, to find that i don't care much for those two anymore. i find it funny.
you can call it growing up.

college, as such, has changed my perspective on several things, such as effort, work, deadlines, and most importantly design. it awoke interests in me that i had no idea i had. what was so alien to me wasn't so anymore. and if anything, made me much humbler about my own work.

i plan, or should i say a tad more accurately, i dream about the future, rather than really locking my feet onto the present. two, maybe three years.

it may be the fact that i'm very much aware of today as a temporal situation, a transition, just another station towards the unknown final destination (and who knows if i decide to abandon that place, just to take a train elsewhere, with its own stations and passengers?).
i like to think i'm in constant evolution. i feel the need to develop, explore, learn, experiment, go further. change my direction without losing constancy.
i think, where? when? what? why? how?
and so many different products come out of that equation just by tweaking certain variables. but they are too vague. confusing.
it makes me itchy, and i can't scratch. not 'right now'. because 'right now' i'm stuck at this station, sitting on a bench.
maidstone west.

summer can only temporarily quench my thirst for change - i am so looking forward to it right now.
saaaaaand.
suuuuuuuuun.
seaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

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