is constant frustration healthy at all??
why don't i just blow drawing, photography, and design all away and forget about them, forget all the ups and downs they bring, just bury them deep deep deep and stomp on the earth, and burn the shovel. in fact, why don't i burn all my sketchbooks and material so far while i'm at it? pencils! crayons! felt-tip pens! keyboard! yes, a big bonfire of shreds of something i'll surely miss desperately but at least won't have to worry about.
and fucking go back to hmv and sell cds and dvds again like a well-oiled robot in this big machine called consumerism (rampant). if i'm lucky in a few years' time maybe i'll get the keys to the tills! what responsability! i'll carry them like a medal and flaunt them. 'the keyholder'. sends shivers down my spine.
i need a walk.