!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> pegasus horse cake.

31.10.04

sleeping is the best activity of all time.

i mean, what can you compare to a late morning? rolled up in the duvet, waking up, knowing there's nothing to do for the rest of the day/not caring about what's going on, going back to sleep or at least that semi-conscious state, soft, warm, cosy, sun shining on your face, comfortable and seemingly eternal. a cocoon. a shield. protection from the outside world. nothing will hurt you. nothing will squash you. you are safe. you turn around, grab the pillow. fetal position. steady deep breathing.
arrecuco. cobacha. cáscara. nube.

and the crispy, fresh sheets, changed that very day, you climb into at night? the day is done, you lie down, either you read or you don't, your own body heat warms the bed up, and you nestle in your safe little world where you are free and at peace. floating away. enveloped. covered.
frescor. descanso. alivio. protección.

so why do i stay up so late, and get up so early for nothing?
masochism.
i decide to use the time to work on uni stuff. but the moment i get up i know that's not happening. and i stay up writing about these things either here or in my journal.
in bed, you can decide to do a thousand things during the day. and end up doing none. because when you pull the duvet off you, the warmth is gone, and you're exposed to life again.
i wouldn't mind it as much if the sun shone through the bamboo blind, and pulled it up to let the gold pour into my room. if it's cloudy, if it's grey, that'll condition the rest of the 18 hours of being up. i hate dreary weather. (this is when i miss spain the most. especially the blinds in the house. beautiful streaks of rich gold contrasted against shiny shadowed wooden floorboards. going out to buy bread and the newspaper, fresh crisp air. oh i love the mornings in madrid.)
the latest i've ever stayed unintentionally has been 4ish-5ish. that felt awesome. of course, i'd gone to bed very very very late from some gig or other, i don't remember. but it was the best. i had skipped the hardest part of the day. it was almost ending. but then the feeling of loss kicked in later on.

sleep is good. sleep is awesome. sleep is your best friend. and so is your bed. it's a little sanctuary. a refuge.
and i wish i slept more.

-->

<< Home