!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> pegasus horse cake.

12.10.04

i am so scared of what's coming this year on the course. people think up the most creative and imaginative things that work, while my own equations usually fail on one side, sometimes both. the first day was so... discouraging. seeing other people's work. i think, how can i ever be as good as them? what am i doing here? am i wasting the tutors' and my parents' time?
this year will prove very demanding. if i'm not up to its level, if i can't get functioning properly, then i'm not doing the right thing. i know i want to learn. i do want to make things, i do want to design. it's just that i feel i can't measure up to the tutor's expectations and everyone else's work. they are all so above me. my peers are all years ahead of me. and the ones of my age are brilliant.

eels. electro shock blues.

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